GA

[Ivan_D]

Pisao clanak za neki GA sajt, pa rek'o da podelim i sa vama. Godina negde 91-92. Osoba koja se pominje - Dusan. Uloge ce se posle par godina promeniti   :)


Hello everyone, here's my (ongoing) story.
I remember being fascinated by gambling since I was a little kid. As early as 8-9 years old. It always attracted me and I always enjoyed gambling. The action itself, but also the atmosphere, the environment, the people. I always loved being surrounded by gamblers and felt very comfortable around them. Gamblers are the nicest crowd (for me they are). Gamblers know no prejudice, they are not opinionated, they are not arrogant, judgmental – they are generally fun to be around.
Almost all gamblers I know are poker players. Some of them are successful, most are not.
I've been, like all of you here, fighting my gambling addiction for decades. Sometimes successfully, at other times not so much.

My life is full of gambling stories. Some are funny, some are sad, some other almost tragic. I enjoyed and was fascinated by many of your stories here and decided to share some of mine in a series of short stories. Here's the first one:

My gambling addiction goes back a couple of decades. I was 16 when I started playing slots (nobody bothered to check my age back then) and as soon as I turned 18 I started visiting casinos, playing roulette at first and then, later, black jack. I was completely addicted by my early twenties. Addicted to the point where I was late on my rent and had literally nothing to eat on many occasions. It was horrible and I sometimes resorted to actions that I never though I was capable of. Actions that I was often ashamed of. At one such occasion my rent was overdue and I asked a friend for a loan. There was no one else I could ask for help. I emigrated when I was 20 and was all on my own in a foreign country, with a bad, bad gambling addiction. He agreed to loan me money for my rent, but knowing of my gambling habit, he warned me not to gamble, but to pay my landlord immediately. I didn't appreciate him telling me something that obvious. Of course I wasn't going to gamble with that money! Why does he have to rub it in, I thought to myself. What an asshole! Of course I was going to pay the rent. What was he thinking? That I would gamble away my rent money now that my rent is overdue? He just wants to rub it in, that's all. Not the friendliest thing to do, but I have only myself to blame. Anyway, I was going to pay the landlord. Had somebody asked me what I thought the odds were of me stopping at the casino on my way home and losing all that money, I would have said less than 1 in 1000. And I really wasn't gonna stop at the casino. No way was I going to do that. I knew I had to pay the rent and I knew that if didn't the chances were I would end up on the street. Homeless. No, I wasn't going to take that chance; I was going to go straight to the landlord and pay my rent.
But then I realized something. My buddy loaned me 375 fl. (guilders, Dutch currency before introduction of the Euro) and my rent was only 360. He didn't have change, so he gave me 3 hundred fl. bills, 1 fifty fl. bill and 1 twenty-five fl. bill.
That extra 15 fl. opened a myriad of options for me, endless possibilities. Not only did I now have money to pay my rent, I also had 15 fl. above and beyond that. 15 fl. that I was going to parlay into something meaningful.  I was loving life. Not only was I not getting evicted, but with some luck I was going to have 50 or maybe even 100 fl extra and treat myself to something nice. Something I was long due, something that I deserved. Maybe a steak, french fries and some snacks for later. I had been eating crap for months. Blood rushed to my head. I was excited, ecstatic even, thinking of what I could do with 50 fl. And parlaying 15 to 50, although not likely, is possible. 1 in 3 odds. I can do it. I was due a break.
And if I lose the 15 fl? Too bad, but I didn't count on that money anyway. I knew there was no way was I going to lose more than 15. Worse comes to worse I'll lose the 15, go home and pay the rent.

After some consideration I decided to play a single hand of Black Jack first. I liked Black Jack and had just learned the basic strategy. I bet 10 fl. and was dealt 11 against the dealer's 7. For those of you not familiar with Black Jack, having 11 against the dealer's 7 is a fairly big advantage.  I was tempted to double down. Double down I did, adding another 10 fl. and I lost. Now I only had 355 fl left, meaning I was 5 fl short on my rent. Not the end of the world, I knew, the landlord would understand it and wait a couple of days for 5 fl. But, instead, I decided to chase the 5 fl. with 350 fl.
Short story shorter, I lost it ALL.

That was probably the worst night of my life. I knew I was going to get evicted. I walked home, a long, cold walk through rainy weather. I was happy it was cold and I was wishing it would rain harder. I wanted to be punished. I arrived home and I didn't know what to do. I lied on my bed. I thought about my options and quickly realized I had none. I was so poor, I had no valuable belongings that I could sell, I couldn't ask my friend for more money because he wouldn't give it to me, I knew the landlord wouldn't be too sympathetic and I had gotten fired from the restaurant I was working at, a week earlier.
The near future looked grim. I was lying in my bed motionless, inspecting my surrounding. I was tired, but I was afraid to fall asleep. I was afraid to fall asleep for I knew it would be a night full of nightmares. I had been there before. But it was never this bad. I looked around me in desperation. My shabby belongings, my worn-out shoes, a few books, my walkman, a couple of t-shirts and underwear that I hung to dry. One object caught my attention though. A roll-on deodorant.
Then, I don't know how or why, an idea formed in my head. I don't know where it came from or what led to it, but I suddenly found myself grabbing the deodorant (it was made of glass) and started banging my face. I hit myself hard, inspecting for bruises after every blow. No bruises appeared at first and I kept on banging my head with the deodorant bottle relentlessly. It hurt, but I deserved it. And besides, I wasn't doing it to hurt or punish myself. I was doing it as a way out. A shameful and disgraceful way out, I knew; but still better than the alternative of becoming homeless.
I stopped hitting myself after a few minutes and waited. My face turned first pink then blue. I overdid it. My entire face was swollen and looked terrible.
I went to bed and fell asleep. I slept like a baby for I knew my problems would go away. At least for the time being they would.
In the morning I saw the landlord and told him what happened. I was mugged by two guys in the park. And they robbed me. They robbed me of the rent money I was going to give him that day. He was very sympathetic and said he'd wait till I'm in a position to pay him. Told the same story to my friend and he loaned me another 375 fl a couple of days later. This time I made it home.
It wasn't until 20 years later that I told my friend what really happened that night. He and I have been through thick and thin together and he is the closes friend I have. Even so, I felt really uncomfortable coming clean about it.

[Pijanista]

I onda si kocku zamenio curama  :evil:
Salu na stranu, koliko znam oduzio si se Dusanu, platio si mu pusenje.

[Ivan_D]

Ah, Dusanu sam se oduzio davno, par meseci posto mi je to pozajmio. Onda mi je on nekih desetak godina dugovao +/- 1500 eura i konacno mi prosli mesec vratio + 1000 bonus kad je miraculously odneo 9500 eura kladeci se na neke utakmice 1 (jedan) euro.  

[Pijanista]

 :|

Proveo sam jednom prilikom pola sata u kazinu, trazeci sta da igram. I izasao. Meni to sve izgleda dosadno.

[Ivan_D]

E, isto i Dusanu prvih godina. Secam se isao je sa mnom nekoliko puta, morao sam tamo da ga vucem. Sedeo bi sa strane, pio vodku i samo gledao i bilo bi mu dosadno.

Onda, par godina kasnije, poceo da radi u jednom hotelu na recepciji, nocna smena. Bila tamo 2 automata, ali Duksi nije obracao paznju na njih. Sve dok jednog kobnog dana, nekoliko meseci posto je poceo da radi tamo, neko nije ostavio u jednom od automata 2 kredita (50 centi).
Duksi odigrao za tih 50 centi i odnese jedno 20-tak guldena. I to je bio pocetak kraja.
Da ti ne pricam koliko me je puta budio u 5 ujutru da mu donesem pare koje je "pozajmio" iz kase, dok mu ne stigne smena.
Jednom nije pustio neke turiste koji su zurili na avion da izadju ako mu ne plate jos 70 guldena koliko je duzio kasi. Nije hteo da im otvori vrata (daljinski na dugme koje je imao na recepciji). Ljudi zurili na avion rano ujutru a on im rekao da duguju jos 70 guldena iako su sve vec uredno platili putnickoj agenciji u svojoj zemlji. I jos im rekao da mogu da se zale, ali da moraju sad da plate. Dao im neki bezveze broj, udario tamo pecat hotela. Ljudi mu dali pare.

Onda mi pricao kako ga je jedna gosca uhvatila kako nozem vadi kovanice iz tegle-kasice koju su imali kao baksis. I gomila jos takvih situacija. Duksi je car!!!    :|

[Hate mail]

No. He's not...

[Daisy]

Pisao clanak za neki GA sajt,

GA = Gambling Addiction?

[Ivan_D]

No. He's not...

Covece 'oladi malo. live and let live.

nego, ovaj GA sajt je nevidjen:

Hello all:  Break's over, time to start posting again.  I did pretty well there for a bit.  Got to 23 days which was a good thing for me since many of you know I've been caught in a gambling turnstile over the past months.  On April 10th, I asked hubby whether he had in fact called the casinos to have them repost my ban.  He picked up the phone and did it right there and then.  Well, then the psychosis kicked in.  "I can't believe you actually did it," I ranted.  "Surely you knew I needed to go one last time!!!"   Big fat lie, I know.

I ranted on and on, berating and abusing him until he finally relented and let me know that there was one last avenue that I could play slots online.  My youngest son has a new computer that isn't blocked by Betfilter.  So, he gave me $75 to shut me up and I went ahead an played all night and a good part of the following afternoon.  I know, it was only $75, but the event demonstrated what a whacko I truly am.

My son has changed his password and both his father and I have strictly instructed him to share it with no-one, especially not me.  How humiliating to have to drag my son into my lunacy.

Anyway, the good thing is my sneaky days are over.  The casino told him that they have changed the their rules and if caught I will face a $2000 fine.  That will do it.  I kept sneaking in because I knew I only had to pay a $67 fine.  The new rules changes everything.

I never fail to be horridly fascinated with the lengths to which I will go to gamble.  My only options now are to travel five hours to another province ... and that is very unlikely to happen.

Good to see so many continuing to do well.  I am back on the wagon and am proud to say have another weekend under my belt.

[Ivan_D]

Pisao clanak za neki GA sajt,

GA = Gambling Addiction?

Gamblers Anonymous

[Ivan_D]

Some heavy stuff on the site  :(  :


Maybe your sons will need help to gain more insight into Problem Gambling RG!?

I know I abused my boys indirectly through gambling. Not coming home for hours and hours when they thought I was just gone shopping. Allowing them to stand at a bus stop miles from home, cold wet and hungry while I chased my losses in a casino, miles from where they were waiting. Asking my son to hold my car keys then DEMANDING them back when I needed to go. All very subtle forms of abuse which I justified at the time but deep down I still feel very guilty that I put gambling before them (and everyone else, I may add!) My older son said "It was no big deal". He is very placid and forgiving but the younger one used to "give me hell " when I turned up late . He would kick the car and scream and swear. He was in his early teens then. Twenty four now and still kicking and screaming but the difference is he very seldom comes near me now and ignores my texts and phonecalls.....I don't want to land any of my **** on your conscience RG. Everyones' circumstances are different and there were other factors besides gambling in my  troubled son's childhood. My point is that gambling DOES have a knock on effect and is best dealt with sooner rather than later.

I wish they would bring in huge fines for self-excluded clients who transgress the rules in Ireland. It should be mandatory everywhere!

[Pijanista]

Narkomanija je zajebana stvar.
A i ceo taj nacin zivota nije za mene. Kao ne radis, pa nesto muvas, pa kao dobijes na ruletu, pa si kao slobodan i jebemliga. Ne vidim u cemu je draz. A mozda sam ostario ili me progutala suburbia.   :mrgreen:

[Hate mail]

Live a little, live a lot, live not, who cares.

Covek uzeo iz (fiskalne?) kase pare pa posle iznudio/ukrao od turista da vrati, pa nozem krade novcice iz necije kasice-prasice za tip??? Da bi se kockao?

I'm sorry, ali nesto nize ne mogu da zamislim.

So, ocigledno nije bas neki kralj (mada, ima i njih svakakvih...)

[Ivan_D]

Desperate times call for desperate measures    :mrgreen:

[Hate mail]

Ali to je sve tako... :(

[Hate mail]

...animalno.

[Pijanista]

Sam je kriv za despreate times

[Ivan_D]

more heavy stuff:

http://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en-GB/ShowThread.aspx?ID=631810

you won't believe what I had done to my family...all caused by gambling..
First, I'm not even a new member from this website. I have registered as a member from september 2012 because then I found I need to do something against my gambling addiction. in 2012 fall I received my student visa in order to study college in San Francisco, so I moved to SF on August, but before that my family had created a bank account using my name(as I was the only one who owns permission to come to U.S), additionally, that account would also facilitate my family to do any business transactions via check. When I arrived to SF I saw it was necessary for me to pay the tuition via check, thus, without the initial intention to take money from the previous account that I mentioned, I went to the same bank and created a new checking account, but since then I found there was 30K in that account. I used to be a gambler(online casino, sport betting...), but with the intention to make a better future I came to study here, but with that money (it doesn't even belong to me) on the account has brought up a nightmare for me..... I went to the bank, change the mailing address (the bank statement used to be sent to my brother in law in L.A, so I changed it to SF, and I told the banker that I lost the debit card so she gave me a new one, then, I lost 10K in just A MONTH, that was also the moment I came in here to seek help, however, with the intention to chase the loses, I ended up turning in another 10K the next month.... I wanted to suicide, reallly, but after I found out all my family has no idea what I was doing (since my brother in law neither check the account balance now use the card), and he let me know that he was planning to buy a house with the money in that account, thus, he keeps making deposits into that account since then, so far, there is supposed 93K in that account, but it only remains 38K, IT MEANS I HAVE LOST MORE THAN 50K OVER THE LAST YEAR.... I knew I can't cover the truth, June 14th, I came back to my homwtown for summer vacation, my brother in law and my sister came to San Diego to pick me up, and they told me we need to go to the bank and ask for the bank statement because they need to do a transaction of 50K via check, I was so scared on that day because I knew what I did to that money, but we ended up late, so the next day they ask me again, so we went to the bank and they finally found out there was only 38K left in the account. I was so scared and I did't admit it in front of the bankers and them, but the banker already appointed that I was the suspicious because it's impossible that the 2nd account has the same signature to my first one and blablabla, but I just did't admit it, despite my sister keeps telling me don't hide the truth if I were that guy who did all of it. I can't sleep well that night, even, I had a nightmare about it, so the next day I woke up early (4:30am), I packed all my stuffs, and left. I texted my sister about the truth, but God! I swear I have never been so regretted and sad before, I can't stop crying, I don't care if you call me pussy or what wt ever, but I just can't face them and myself..... it has been 3 weeks away since I left, my sister keeps texting me how much she and my parents miss me, but I did't reply them at all, God!! I feel I must die 1000000+ time in order to reach a redemption. I'm going back tomorrow cuz I'm running out of money outside, I know they won't kill e or something because we are family, but I dont know how to fix this "hole", cuz I don't wanna tell them that I used the money for gambling cuz 3 years ago it already happened once (that time I literally stole my dad's money for gambling and I ended up kneeling in front of my family and asking them to forgive me).... This time, my sister told me that she hasn't told my dad about this yet cuz I'm pretty sure it will turn my dad crazy. Anyway, I'm going back home tomorrow and face my "judgement", no matter how I would end up, there will be no more gambling in my life....

I moj dobri savet:

Hey xinstory, I feel for you. One thing, however, in your last sentence you state "there will be no more gambling in my life". You don't know this. I personally find it important not to state with great certainty something very uncertain. There will probably be more gambling in your life. A few months from now, the dust will settle and you'll forget how you felt today. You'll think it's not all that bad and you might give in to a little temptation again.

OK, about your family, what are you going to tell them? Of course you can tell them the truth, but you can also decide to lie. Lying is easier and often times better. But it needs to be done properly, you need to get creative. Here's an example off the top of my head: You can tell them that you fell in love with this Russian girl, she was somehow involved with the Russian mafia and they were threatening to hurt both of you unless you pay them lots of money. See the movie "Birthday girl".

[Pijanista]

Mislim, dao si mu savet.... :(

[Hate mail]

Ne znam, ne znam...

[slawen]

Mislio sam da se "often times" pise oftentimes.