Two and a Half Men
- Alan, you're not gay.
- Are you sure?
- Do you find me sexually attractive?
- No.
- Do you find any man sexually attractive?
- No. Uh, maybe George Clooney.
- Clooney doesn't count. Trust me. You're not gay.
- Okay...
- You seem disappointed.
- I just... I feel like I'm letting a lot of people down.
- Alan... it's okay to be straight.
- I guess. So just to put all our cards on the table, you're, you're not at all attracted to me?
- No. You're not my type. Now, Charlie, on the other hand...
- What about him?
- He's, uh... very pretty.
- Get out of my car!
- What?
- You think Charlie's so pretty, go to the mall with Charlie.
- Come on, Alan, we're friends.
- No, I'm always the friend. Everybody wants Charlie.
- You're not gay!
- Yeah, yeah, well, there's a principle involved. Good night!
- Suit yourself. Well, at least I know who I am.