GIGGLES FOR THE MONTH – HOSPITAL CHART
(Actual writings from the hospital chats)
1. The patient refused autopsy
2. This patient has no previous history of suicides
3. This patient has left white blood cells at another hospital
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
12. She is numb from the toes down
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home
14. The skin was moist and dry
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid
(that is some examination)

18. She stated she had been constipated most of her life, until she got a divorce
19. I saw your patient today who is still under our car for physical therapy
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized
22. The lab test indicates abnormal lover function
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities